John Munch: *drinks*
Millie Logan: *to Wheeler* Tell him he's in trouble. And he better get his ass home soon. *then Isa can be heard yelling, and Millie abruptly hangs up*
Megan Wheeler: *offers the phone back to Munch*
John Munch: *yoink*
Mike Logan: I need another beer.
John Munch: Hah.
Megan Wheeler: You really don't.
John Munch: Yeah,because pissing Millie off is smart.
Mike Logan: You did it. And trust me, she'll find a way to make this your fault.
Mike Logan: If she doesn't, she's gonna feel like she made some seriously bad decisions.
John Munch: Oh, please. She's gotta be used to you being a douche in bars bynow.
Mike Logan: So, basically, you're fucked, pal. Hope you don't need lab results anytime soon.
John Munch: She's not the only lab tech. You know, I happen to have some friends at CSU. Friends who like me.
Mike Logan: Yeah, sure you do,.
Zach Nichols: I need a new lady friend who doesn't like you in any capacity.
John Munch: And,you know, being a sergeant does hold a certain weight that being a detective doesn't. *pause, then to Nichols* You better stay outta all five boroughs then.
John Munch: I'd suggest you go to Jersey.
Mike Logan: Yech. Are you really saying I'm worse than Jersey?
Zach Nichols: ....YES.
John Munch: I'm saying you've hit a good percentage in every borough. I mean, mostly Manhattan and Staten Island *pause, snickers at Staten Island.*
John Munch: But still.
John Munch: *to Nichols* Every NYPD officer who works with Logan goes through this. Don't worry.
John Munch: He used to be a manwhore. Now...he's just Daddy Daycare.
Mike Logan: Ahh, eat me. You're just jealous, fingertrap.
John Munch: *flat* Yes. I'm jealous of your sexually transmitted diseases and your special relationship with Goren.
John Munch: It's true.
Zach Nichols: So maybe I can find someone who recently moved. Or someone who meets all my new specifications that Logan would find off-limits. *thinks Wheeler is pretty...HA.*
Mike Logan: You're completely jealous of my wife.
Mike Logan: You old fruit.
John Munch: No. I'm not. She's not my type.
Mike Logan: How so? Female?
John Munch: *eyeroll*
Megan Wheeler: *grins at Nichols* Just be sure she's either Logan-proof or hasn't even visited New York any time over four years ago. Because you never with Logan.
Megan Wheeler: I'm sure he picked up a tourist or two.
Megan Wheeler: Or ten.
John Munch: "Oh, officer, can you help me find the Empire State Building?"
John Munch: "I'll show you the monument in my pants!"
John Munch: *dead-on Logan voice*
Mike Logan: Yeah, so?
Mike Logan: And the line is "landmark." The landmark in my pants.
John Munch: See?
Zach Nichols: *is clearly disgusted*
Megan Wheeler: *laughs* *because she's just way too used to this*
John Munch: *to Nichols* What's sad is? It's worked for him on numerous occasions.
Zach Nichols: What self-respecting female would fall for that? *shakes head*
Megan Wheeler: You would be surprised.
John Munch: *nods*
Mike Logan: It was pretty successful.
John Munch: Tourists are stupid.
Megan Wheeler: Or just looking for a cheap thrill.
John Munch: He's cheap, all right.
Zach Nichols: I doubt it was thrilling.
John Munch: Same ties he wore in 1980.
John Munch: Theylook skinnier.
John Munch: But he's just gotten fatter.
Mike Logan: Yeah, okay. At least I'm not wearing the exact same pair of grey underwear, you cheapass antique.
Zach Nichols: ....that's because they were in your desk.
John Munch: ....so we're back to that.
Zach Nichols: He said underwear. It was a bad first day for me, you know?
John Munch: I can imagine.
John Munch: Ross can be traumatic.
Zach Nichols: No, no. Just dramatic.
Megan Wheeler: *glares at Munch*
Mike Logan: Did he dress up as the girl at your little party?
John Munch: *wonders why he's getting a glare, looks at Wheeler* What?
Megan Wheeler: *done it twice to Logan anyway, so... she tries to punch Munch in the arm*
John Munch: *to Wheeler* What did I do to you??
Megan Wheeler: *in a "well, duh" voice* He isn't traumatic.
Zach Nichols: ....What? Ross? .....dress up like a girl? Are you insulting the CAPTAIN now?
John Munch: *to Wheeler* Right. I forgot you were his favorite. Er. Second favorite. *motions to Nichols*
Megan Wheeler: *to Nichols* No respect. None. *but she's not mad, just teasing*
Megan Wheeler: ...I'm still his favorite.
Megan Wheeler: I'm cuter.
Mike Logan: We have pictures.
John Munch: *to Mike* Pictures of what?
Zach Nichols: *to Wheeler* Indeed, that you are.
Megan Wheeler: *grins*
Mike Logan: Oh, you know.
John Munch: OH. Those pictures.
John Munch: Of Ross in drag at Halloween.
John Munch: Right.
John Munch: We do have those. *nods*
Zach Nichols: ..........pictures of what? Danny is my friend, you ass. Amelia was one thing, but seriously. This is ridiculous. You can't insult the cap- Munch? .....did you say what I think you just said?
John Munch: *solemn nod*
Megan Wheeler: ...For your sake, Nichols, don't. ask.
Mike Logan: *drinks, smugly*
Zach Nichols: No. ...........no.
John Munch: He lost a bet.
John Munch: He came dressed as Liz Rodgers.
John Munch: It was excellent.
Zach Nichols: ...........no.
Mike Logan: Yep.
Megan Wheeler: ...Keep denying it, and they will prove it. And no one wants that.
John Munch: I don't have the pictures with me. But they exist.
Zach Nichols: *to Wheeler* As his favorite, couldn't you have prevented this?
Megan Wheeler: I don't interfere in bets.
Mike Logan: I'm not the one who played footsie with him all night.
Mike Logan: That would be MUNCH.
Zach Nichols: Munch......has been in a dry spell for some time.
Zach Nichols: Goren would've played footsie but his game was probably thrown off by Ross being dressed as a woman....
Megan Wheeler: *laughs*
Zach Nichols: Danny can never mock me for dress up time in Vice again......
Mike Logan: You did?
Megan Wheeler: *to Nichols, curious* Mock you, huh?
John Munch: We like to mock.
Zach Nichols: They only let me be a pimp once. I kept talking the ladies out of it - and that didn't work out for the objectives. I was a loan shark a few times.
Zach Nichols: They never let me be a hooker. I have great legs....
Megan Wheeler: They put me in hooker get-up so many times...
John Munch: I'd pay to see that.
John Munch: The latter.
John Munch: I'd pay NOT to see the former.
John Munch: Logan went in drag for some drug sting back in the 80s.
John Munch: Or something.
Mike Logan: Meh. I still have that red dress that makes my ass look terrific.
Zach Nichols: *to Wheeler* Too bad there aren't pictures of that.... *smirk*
Zach Nichols: Logan, I doubt you'd still fit in some dress from the 80's.
Mike Logan: I have pictures. Wanna see?
Zach Nichols: Of Wheeler as a hooker? Yes.
Zach Nichols: Of you in any form of drag? No.
Megan Wheeler: ...Just for that, show him. Please.
Zach Nichols: *sheepish* ....sorry.
John Munch: There's probably pictures around somewhere of Eames in her hooker get-up.
Zach Nichols: Munch? No. No, no. I can't think about that.
John Munch: *evil grin*
Zach Nichols: That was cruel.
Mike Logan: *flicks out the photo*
Mike Logan: Say hello, bitch,.
Megan Wheeler: Thankfully, no photos exist of me undercover. *takes a drink* Because I'm just that good.
Mike Logan: Or that ugly.
Zach Nichols: *doesn't want to look....but it's kind of like a car accident, you just HAVE to look.* ......it was flattering to your ass. Sort of.
Megan Wheeler: *pointedly ignoring Logan* *to Nichols* Things around here get less traumatic. In a week or two, nothing'll phase you.
Zach Nichols: Wheeler's not ugly. The hell's wrong with you?
Megan Wheeler: Oh, I like you.
Mike Logan: Oh, shit. My bad. I was thinking of Munch.
John Munch: *eyeroll* *I* never dress in drag.
Mike Logan: And we all thank god for that.
Megan Wheeler: Took the words right out of my mouth.
John Munch: *glare*
Megan Wheeler: *smile*
Mike Logan: *takes the photo back* And that, by the way, is why the wife'll forgive me.
John Munch: Because she likes the way you look in a dress?
Mike Logan: Yeah, baby. The whole freakin' package.
Zach Nichols: Well, it's nice that your wife forgives you because you look moderately not frightening as a tranny.
Mike Logan: Oh, please. There's a myriad of reasons. *see Mike use big words!*
Megan Wheeler: ...Wow. And you actually used that correctly. I'm impressed.
Mike Logan: Thank you.
John Munch: Must have been on his word-a-day calendar.
Megan Wheeler: Hey, don't knock the calendars.
John Munch: *smirk*
Mike Logan: Okay, it's been fun, but I'm one beer short of a six, so it's time for me to go.
John Munch: Say hi to Millie. And Isa. And...the other one.
Mike Logan: David. He's got a name.
John Munch: Right. But--what're you guys calling him? Cat?
John Munch: Kitten?
Megan Wheeler: Can I call him Kitten?
Mike Logan: Isabel's calling him Kitten. I don't care.
Mike Logan: It's not like he answers, so whatever.
Zach Nichols: Isa's exceptionally smart. Somehow, I think Kitten is aware....
John Munch: Babies are.
Megan Wheeler: He will. Answer to "Kitten," that is.
Mike Logan: Not funny. The kid'll get mauled in school.
Megan Wheeler: Not if he can punch hard.
Zach Nichols: So stop calling him Kitten.
John Munch: He's a Logan. He'll be able to punch hard.
John Munch: Isa already does.
Mike Logan: Yeah, I know.
Mike Logan: Ugh. Okay, later, nerds.
John Munch: Later, Dunkin'.
Megan Wheeler: *grins at Nichols* All one big happy family, as you can see.
Mike Logan: *waves, leaves*
Zach Nichols: Indeed...
Megan Wheeler: Let that be a warning to you-- appreciate Alex.
Zach Nichols: Oh, I do. Goren was an ass.
John Munch: *amused. Also, tipsy*
Megan Wheeler: Some day I'll bribe Ross to give me Alex.
Zach Nichols: *is.....slightly intoxicated. mhmmm.*
John Munch: ...he he he. *totally guttered that statement*
Zach Nichols: No.....you should....you should take me. I'm awesome. *is all serious with his wine glass. serious Zach....is serious*
Megan Wheeler: *laughs*
John Munch: *coughing*
Zach Nichols: So....
Zach Nichols: You're in the safe off-limits from Logan bubble.
Zach Nichols: And....tall.
Megan Wheeler: *is so not cluing in, blame the beer* Thank God.
John Munch:: *trying not to die of laughter, JESUS, YOU GUYS, THINK OF THE OLD MAN*
Zach Nichols: *evil glare at Munch*
Megan Wheeler: *looks at Munch* ...Finally lost it, huh?
Zach Nichols: Yes, yes he has.
Zach Nichols: Ignore him. He's OLD.
Zach Nichols: I'm......less old.
Zach Nichols: Nothing wrong with older men. So long as they aren't old like Munch, you know.
Megan Wheeler: Or grabby. Grabby old guys get fingers broken.
John Munch: *is like, ISTHIS SERIOUSLY HAPPENING? OH, GOD, I LOVE MY LIFE.*
Zach Nichols: *cannot remember why he and Munch are friends. HAAAA.*
Megan Wheeler: *seriously is too often "one of the guys" and does not recognize things unless coming from a creepy perp*
Zach Nichols: *drinks some more*
Megan Wheeler: *orders another beer*
Zach Nichols: Munch, come on, it would be awesome. I think. Maybe. Yeah? Definitely an upgrade.
John Munch: Huh?
John Munch: Upgrade?
John Munch: Who? What?
Zach Nichols: This meets all the new specifications.
John Munch:: What're you talking about?
Zach Nichols: ...............what were you laughing at?
Megan Wheeler: The aliens send him funny messages in his head. *smirks*
Zach Nichols: ....these things happen.
John Munch: I was laughing at you hitting on Wheeler.
John Munch: *evil glare*
Zach Nichols: Oh, oh NOW you get it.
Zach Nichols: Anyway.
Zach Nichols: She's pretty and I like her freckles.
Megan Wheeler: ... *blink* ... *give it a moment* ... What?
John Munch: *to Wheeler* Hitting. On. You. Nichols.
John Munch: Likes your freckles.
Zach Nichols: *goes back to his sad drinking times*
Megan Wheeler: *looks at Munch... then at Nichols... then at Munch* ...Really? *yes, she's asking Munch, not Nichols* *this is Wheeler with alcohol*
John Munch: Mmhmm.
John Munch: He did say earlier that he likes tall redheads.
John Munch: Ones who Logan wouldn't bang.
Zach Nichols: .........you're making it worse. It's like a train wreck.
Megan Wheeler: *looks at Nichols, with an almost "interrogation" look*
Megan Wheeler: Lemme guess. One of them put you up to saying that.
Zach Nichols: ............would that make it better?
Megan Wheeler: *Because it's something Logan would do*
John Munch: I didn't say anything and neither, for once, did Logan.
John Munch: *hmph*
John Munch: And you know I'd tell you if Logan did.
Zach Nichols: Logan....disturbs me.
Megan Wheeler: You get used to him.
John Munch: *shrugs* Once you've known him like twenty years, it's all usual.
Zach Nichols: I'm sure I've met him in passing before I took the break.
John Munch: Probably. His bite was bigger than his bark back then.
John Munch: He's............nicer......now.
John Munch: *can't believe he's saying that*
Zach Nichols: ...........................wow.
John Munch: Having kids....tamed him. Believe it or not.
Zach Nichols: Heh. Tame. Right.
John Munch: Seriously.
Megan Wheeler: He really is.
Megan Wheeler: Tamer.
John Munch: *yawns*
Megan Wheeler: *smirks at Munch* Your bedtime, oldtimer?
John Munch: Getting there....Some of us like to be on time to work and not totally hungover. But I hear Major Case gets passes on things like that.
Zach Nichols: Danny's impressed that I show up.
John Munch: Lucky.
John Munch: If I don't show up?
John Munch: My partner rebels.
John Munch: She's mean.
John Munch: She and Benson have an alliance.
Zach Nichols: I'm better now that I have a partner. Before? There was a suggested work time....
John Munch: Eames'll kick your ass.
Megan Wheeler: She will. Hard.
Zach Nichols: Indeed....
John Munch: He might like that, though. *smirk*
Megan Wheeler: ...Huh. Eames in a dominatrix get-up. Now that'd be a sight.
Zach Nichols: ............I'd die.
John Munch: .............
Megan Wheeler: But it would be a good, happy death.
Zach Nichols: The best way to die.
John Munch: *blinks at Wheeler*
John Munch: Wait, WHAT?
Megan Wheeler: *looks at Munch* ...What what?
John Munch: You'd be happy to die of Eames kicking your ass in a dominatrix get-up???
Zach Nichols: ......who wouldn't?
Zach Nichols: Oh. God. Eames' in dominatrix getup kicking Wheeler's ass? ...........that's getting added to my bucket list.
John Munch: ........................................
John Munch: *gulps down the rest of his drink*
Zach Nichols: ..........sorry. Couldn't help it.
Megan Wheeler: ...Oh, and if Eames hears about this? I will kill you both.
Zach Nichols: Scout's honor.
John Munch: *staring at Wheeler again*
John Munch: *like, does this mean....WHAT DOES THIS MEAN,WHEELER????*
Megan Wheeler: *stares back* ...What?
John Munch: *PUZZLED*
John Munch: I don't know.
Zach Nichols: Can I break it down for her?
Zach Nichols: Please?
Zach Nichols: Payback and all?
John Munch: Break what down for who??
Zach Nichols: Okay, look, Munch is OLD, and old people get confused.
Zach Nichols: Especially by new shiny things like.....
Zach Nichols: Extremely attractive women talking about other extremely attractive women. So he's confused.
Megan Wheeler: ...Women always notice how good looking other women are.
Zach Nichols: But they do not all appreciate Eames in dominatrix getup. I mean, seriously.
Zach Nichols: They should, though.
John Munch: ........right. And women don't usually talk about it, though. Unless they're with other women.
Megan Wheeler: ...They don't? Now, that's sad.
John Munch: So. Either.
John Munch: Wheeler considers you her gal-pal, Nichols.
John Munch: Or.
Megan Wheeler: Or? *either innocent or just waiting for him to say it*
John Munch: Or Wheeler considers herself to be one of the guys, talking about women in the same manner that guys do because Wheeler....is....a, um, guy.
John Munch: Or. You know.
John Munch: A lesbian.
John Munch: *he works sex crimes! He says things like lesbian! rawr!*
Megan Wheeler: *smiles, peevish* Or I could believe in equal opportunity. *might be kidding... might not... takes another drink, smirking*
Zach Nichols: I think she supports equal opportunity. It gives me hope.
John Munch: That she doesn’t consider you her gal-pal?
John Munch: You strike me as the gal-pal type.
John Munch: Do you have a lot of girl friends who like to take you shopping?
Zach Nichols: I'm sort of Connie's gal-pal? I'm like her gay friend who isn't gay. I love the ladies. I love them. A lot. I want one.
John Munch: Connie......?
Zach Nichols: Rubirosa. The very pretty, sweet pregnant one at the DA's office.
John Munch: Ohhhh. Right. Connie Rubirosa Cutter. What is it with you and unattainable women, Nichols?
Megan Wheeler: Unattainable is more appealing.
Zach Nichols: The hell? It's not like that with the Connie. She's my friend. I make sure she eats. She's my lunch buddy. Mike's busy a lot with work and Connie's always work work work.
John Munch: Well, they are lawyers.
Zach Nichols: Besides, no one said Wheeler was unattainable. *smirk*
John Munch: Right.
Megan Wheeler: *takes another drink* Nope. No one's said that.
Megan Wheeler: Unless you count the "captain would kill you" caveat.
John Munch: ..................................
Zach Nichols: But see, Danny is my friend. And I'm not some sick twisted person. He'd have no reason to kill me. I wouldn't do anything to warrant a killing. *is true! he's sweet!*
Megan Wheeler: ...You wouldn't? *might be teasing* Where's the fun in that, then?
John Munch: Banging his favorite detective who's practically like a kid to him?
John Munch: No.
John Munch: Nothing bad would come of that.
John Munch: At all.
John Munch: *sorry, Munch doesn't do flirting when HE'S NOT THE ONE FLIRTING*
John Munch: *also he's an asshole*
Zach Nichols: ...........do you want your Captain to go and kill me and lose his captainlyness? See, no, no fun in that at all for anyone. Not for me, not for him, not for you.
Zach Nichols: I don't like the term banging.....just saying....
John Munch: Excuse me.
John Munch: Having sexual intercourse with.
John Munch: *eyeroll*
Megan Wheeler: *just laughs* *she's still not entirely how seriously she should be taking any of this*
Zach Nichols: He.....will get over it. Because....IF anything were to happen, I wouldn't hurt her. The only reason he'd hunt me down and kill me is if I did that. *thinks that was logical, despite the wine intake*
John Munch: No.
John Munch: He'd still kill you.
John Munch: *smirk* I can call him.
John Munch: And ask.
Zach Nichols: ....................NO.
John Munch: *gets out phone again*
John Munch: *evil grin*
Zach Nichols: I have freakishly long arms. I will take that phone from you.
John Munch: *slides off the stool, steps away*
Zach Nichols: .............this is just not right.
Megan Wheeler: ...He wouldn't...
Zach Nichols: Oh, he would.
Megan Wheeler: ...Crap. *gets up*
Zach Nichols: I'm comfortable about beating an old man to defend your honor. You okay with that?
Megan Wheeler: I'm comfortable tackling an old man to get his cellphone. That work for you?
Zach Nichols: If he manages to call Danny.....just....don't panic.
Zach Nichols: You'll still be his favorite. No worries.
Megan Wheeler: *already following where Munch went*
Zach Nichols: *come out come out wherever you are Munch............ stalky stalk stalk*
John Munch: *backs aways, dialing*
Megan Wheeler: *smile, smile, smile* Munch, give me the phone. Or I will tackle you. Public place or not.
John Munch: I know you want me, Wheeler. Tackling me will not accomplish that. *phone to his ear, backing away more*
Zach Nichols: Oh, Danny will kill YOU. Mhmm.
John Munch: *whoever he called answers* Oh, hey, it's Munch. *pause* Yes. I am aware of the time.
Megan Wheeler: *arches an eyebrow, glaring*
Zach Nichols: Munch........
Megan Wheeler: *to Nichols* Obviously, he's had too much to drink and thought up more crazy theories.
John Munch: Oh, nothing much. *pause* Just calling to see how Rodgers is. She there?
John Munch: *pause* Oh she IS there.
Zach Nichols: This isn't good.
Megan Wheeler: I say we blame it on him drinking too much.
John Munch: Well, Nichols and Wheeler are here.
John Munch: Good luck getting THEM to do any work tomorrow.
Zach Nichols: We can blame him. Totally. Danny probably thinks Munch is crazy anyway....
Megan Wheeler: Thinks? He knows.
Zach Nichols: And unless Logan tells Danny we were here? There's no one to back up this story.
John Munch: Do you--what? Wheeler? Sure. She's right here.
John Munch: *waves phone, accidentally takes a picture*
Zach Nichols: ......................damn it.
Megan Wheeler: *grabs for the phone*
Danny Ross: Hello? *flat*
Megan Wheeler:*cheery* Hey!
Danny Ross: What. The. Hell?
Megan Wheeler: The four of us were drinking. Then Logan left. So the three of us kept drinking. ...And I think I broke Munch.
Danny Ross: The four--Logan--you----what?
Megan Wheeler: *grins* Logan, Munch, Nichols, and me. Drinking. Logan left. And then I broke Munch. By saying that Eames would look ridiculously hot in a dominatrix get-up. *because if you can jar them enough early on, throw them off their game!*
Zach Nichols: *.........might be in love*
Danny Ross:.......................Ihavetogonow. *hangs up*
Megan Wheeler: *grins and offers Munch the phone back*
John Munch: *takes it back*...what did you do to Ross?
Zach Nichols: She broke him! *beams*
Megan Wheeler: He had to go. *smiling*
Megan Wheeler: *This is why you don't take MCS detectives drinking*